Crew 1 - 1 Chivas: Pulling for the Slow Kids

By: Jeff | May 14th, 2007

Before getting to the game itself, what appears below recommends a preface of sorts. For those who aren’t aware, I’m a married man; as such, I had Mother’s Day obligations. That wasn’t a problem - I went through the day happy even - but I did rearrange my soccer-viewing schedule to accommodate some activities. As it happened, I woke up early (7 a.m., if you must know) to catch the Columbus Crew’s game against Chivas USA.

It could be that’s why I’m so, so bitter about wasting that hour and a half. I mean, I could have been actually sleeping, instead of fighting it. There was the odd diversion, for instance moments where I wondered to myself, “Why the hell did he do that?” Those several mysteries weren’t really satisfying; I mean, I don’t watch soccer to answer age-old questions of human motivation, but to be entertained. And I damn-skippy wasn’t entertained Saturday morning. But, like I said, that could have been the sleepy talking.

The one-outlet gush-fest the Columbus Dispatch directed at Guillermo Barros Schelotto (LINK and LINK) and reports of the game that appeared on MLSnet.com makes that seems even more likely. While I agree Schelotto looked the best player on the field (honorable mention going, as always, to Ned Grabavoy), he didn’t have much for competition; we’re talking a late-60s GTO against, oh, about half-dozen respectable sedans and a dozen or so Le Cars.

OK, the first half was better. And if I didn’t confess to pumping my fists when the Crew scored their equalizer, I’d be lying by omission. Count Alejandro Moreno among the “respectable sedans” (a good model candidate escapes me); he’s doing what Sigi Schmid wanted him to do - e.g. hold up the ball in the offensive third - which should help with possession down the line. Ditto with Danny O’Rourke, at least on the negative side of things - and credit Frankie Hejduk with holding down the Crew’s right well enough. But things got slim after that.

By the second half, though, the best entertainment switched from the eyes to the ears courtesy of the shameless homerism of the Chivas broadcasting team; they stroked the holy crap out of the usual suspects: Francisco “Panchito” Mendoza, Ante Razov, and Brad Guzan. On the field, Chivas opened with 20 enthralling, encouraging minutes - through Laurent Merlin, in particular - before the Crew sorted out the defense. Not surprisingly, the goal came before - in the earliest part of those 20 minutes, in fact, when Merlin picked up a foul and Razov curled home the free kick.

As for the Crew’s equalizer, that came against the run of play as I see it. More significantly, it came the same way as many of the Crew’s chances: through blunders among the Chivas’ back-line, in this case, a give-away by Shavar Thomas (I think). No disrespect intended to either Schelotto, who provided a good assist, or Grabavoy, who fired home a nice goal, but they had about 3/4 of the work done for them (and, yeah, that last quarter is the hardest part…stilll…).

This last part is the hardest part of watching the Crew play offense. At times the experience amounts to living off scraps; it’s incomplete, a little unsatisfying, and a lot frustrating. Yeah, there’s a good pass there from Grabavoy, a slashing and, here, futile run by Eddie Gaven; with Schelotto around there are even stunningly precise free-kicks - damn shame no one can capitalize. To make a tacky analogy, I imagine I feel a bit like a teacher observing a class for of, um, “academic strugglers”; the idea is to watch for and celebrate the small victories, not least because the big ones seem so far off.

Like the teacher from my example, I’ve adjusted my expectations downward. Good as there defense is, and even as both Moreno and Schelotto look like improvements, I expect they’ll struggle to score all season long; maybe Andy Herron will help upon his return…I dunno. I do think I’ll see the occasional win - they are solid, after all - but I’m also confident that actual pleasure will be at a premium.